Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
