We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
