it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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