Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
