do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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