Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
