After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think my moral compass just broke
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