I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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