Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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