Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
