My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
