Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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