my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
