The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
