it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
