dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
