shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she smelled like a LAN party
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
