once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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