You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
