You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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