just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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