If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
