So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
