If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
