brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
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