remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
