i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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