that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
