am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
