If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
