i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
