You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
