Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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