Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
