my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
That accounts for only three of the penises
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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