We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
