I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
