What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
