I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
