You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
