real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
