come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Let's get the cat blown out
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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