New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize