Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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