from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
