so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
