Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
