I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
