I think im going to throw up on grandma
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
