Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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